life & death

Today I’d like to say a few words about the relationship between the way we live our life and our view of death – our fear of it or aversion to it.

There is something of a paradox here. One might suppose that the happier one is with life, the more aversion there would be towards death. But it is not really so. One who is living life rather happily, contentedly, becomes more at ease with the prospect of death. There is less resistance to it. And perhaps you have had days, or moments at least, when you have felt so totally content, so completely happy that the thought has come, if I die today then it’s okay.

In that moment at least there is no resistance to death, no aversion towards it, no fear of it. And this is the irony. When we are living life fully, when we are living the moment totally, our fear of death and our resistance to death disappear. We only actually feel that great resistance to death when we are not living fully, when we are not living the moment totally, when we are holding back. And sadly, most people live their entire life holding back, not giving their full energy to the moment, being reserved. This comes about if we live too much in our dreams, in our fantasies. If we live in a world full of what should be rather than what is. This tormenting mind that most people live with day after day not only stops us from enjoying the moment as it is to the full, but it also creates this great aversion to death. We must postpone it to give time for what should be to come into being.

This fantasy-led life manifests in many ways: the perfect job is just around the corner; and of course the most popular fantasy of all, the perfect relationship is just around the corner. This is no way to live, and it’s no way to face death either. If we feel so unfulfilled in our life, then we cannot face death at all. It is unthinkable to die with all these unfulfilled dreams, still waiting for that perfect man or woman to come into our life, still waiting to have enough money, still waiting to have all the material possessions that we ever wanted. This is a miserable life and a life where the fear of death cannot disappear, for who can die happily feeling so unfulfilled?

And the feeling of fulfilment does not come from that perfect man or woman appearing and being in a relationship with us. The feeling of fulfilment does not come from having lots of money. These are blind alleys distracting us. The feeling of fulfilment can only come from deep within, when we touch our essence; when we feel the godliness of ourself, and of everyone else, and of all that is, and every moment is a fulfilment whatever is happening. And with that sense of fulfilment, death loses its sting. There can be no fear of death when every moment is complete in itself. There can be no aversion towards death when one is utterly content with life. So if we are to bring about a healthy relationship with death, we must also bring about a healthy relationship with life. The two are not separate.